We were sitting around the kitchen table catching up on life… She was sharing the challenges of settling into a new school, and relating how bitchy some girls are… I was instantly taken back to my grade 10 year [std 8 for any old-timers like me – that was the year I changed schools – another story in itself], and it was like I was listening to a younger version of myself.
So here’s the thing… Whilst she was sharing her struggles…
I was reminded of how bitchy high school girls [and some grown working people] can be.
I was reminded of a specific girl who really didn’t like me in highschool… even though I hadn’t done anything in particular to her.
I was reminded about how tough it is… when you’re growing up [and trying to build your confidence as a person with something to offer in life]
So I shared my story with her… My sad tale of a girl just like the one she was struggling with… I did this, because I wanted her to know that she isn’t the only one to have someone not like her… To know that it’s ok… and to know that we get through these things!
But I didn’t share the most important bit of information!
After I related my story, I stopped talking.
I shouldn’t have… I should have shared the most important [and useful] information… something that she could have actually taken and used to help her get through where she was at.
So, What I really wanted to share with her…
Is that I have learnt things, that helped me understand people better, and helped me put things into perspective.
Through this… I have found ways to handle the situation.
The Ping-Pong principle of life!
Life is a little bit like a ping-pong game [‘scuse the analogy – but there was a pingpong table on holiday – and my tennis isn’t so great!]…
Just like ping-pong [or tennis] – in life, we should only worry about the things we can control, which is:
- How we serve the ball
- How we react to it.
1. What to serve up?
There is a saying:
“You attract a lot more bees with honey”
Which I’ve read as: you need to be sweet
But I’ve always felt that “being sweet” didn’t feel real and authentic.
So this is what I relate to more…
I need to come from a place of love.
When I interact with someone, and I come from a place of love, I usually project goodness and happiness into the world… and people usually respond quite well to that.
Does it always work?
Sometimes people have too much “stuff”… and whether they are reminded of their stuff when they see me, or whether their stuff just gets in the way when we interact… I then need to remember point 2…
2. How to react?
Life isn’t all peachy and rose-y 24/7… Nope… We are all human, and stuff happens to us all the time.
and people can say really bitchy, stupid, hurtful things….
In those cases, I needed to remember:
- Not everyone will like me
- I certainly can’t control whether others like me or not
- I’m not everyone’s cup of tea
and knowing that… I can move to the next step (with another saying):
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”
[or lemon drops… or my favourite: lemon curd… but I digress]
“Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.”
So… when I feel the temptation to just return the favour [and hate them back], I try to remember that when I come from that good place, I get a better result.
So I just make sure that my side of the ping-pong table is clean 😉